A Glimpse into My Story -- Zane, The Pneumatologist Part 2

 

Interestingly enough, it was in December of 2014, that I was "coincidentally" presented with the opportunity to go to Bogota, Colombia for the entire month.  Just before I left, I remember randomly Google searching "churches in Bogota, Colombia" and the first one that came up on the list, I took note of, and as soon as I arrived, I inquired as to its proximity.  It was at this church that I received a wake up call that would change the course of my life completely. It brought me into very serious questioning, as to from what was I living in my so-called Christian walk, all my life, in comparison to my experience in Colombia.

From the moment that I stepped off of the bus in front of the church the first Sunday morning that I attended, an atmosphere that I had not experienced before hit me like a weather front. It was the very first time in my life I felt an atmosphere within which I felt a sense of God that made me feel to weep. It literally made me want to breakdown and cry.  The service was very organized, but for the very first time in 32 years of my life, I experienced an atmosphere that was filled with miraculous happening from beginning to end.  I saw people get out of wheelchairs, others testified of financial blessings, being healed and even saw an open wound heal. I would not have had believed it, had I not seen it myself. Even doctors came with their former patients attesting to the fact that the person was truly healed.  This was thoroughly and completely baffling to me.  I asked myself, "If this is God in Colombia, where is that God in my life?" "What do I not know that they know?"  "How is the miraculous so effortless, while I have been laboriously trying to get to this unknown level of spirituality for so long?"

And, even the greater question that caused internal panic and horror, "Did Jesus reject me sometime aback and I didn't know?" These thoughts began haunting me.  I remembered a well known tele-evangelist saying that if you do not turn from your repetitive sins, God can turn his back on you and reject you, without your knowledge of it.. Was I in this position? Sheer horror!

This experience propelled me into much internal processing that I will not mention as yet, because of its length. (It is my intention to publish it in a book). Through the processing of the experience in comparison to my personal "Christianity, I was hurled into a desperate search.  A search for Truth. I thought to myself, "there must be a way to find it." A search for experiencing what Jesus said in John 14:12.  I carefully considered through my personal turmoil, "after fifteen years of mystery filled Christianity, my approach cannot be the same. There must be a reference point to be able to identify the Truth."  And so, after careful and prolonged consideration, I resolutely decided to take an empirical approach.  The approach that I dare to label: the experimental supernatural physicist approach.  I took the deductive approach.  I took 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22, VERY LITERALLY!  I started studying and then practically TESTING like an experimental scientist would.  An experimental supernatural scientist, in this case.  I came to a personal conclusion that if this 'God business' was real, it should have verifiable results, and if it was not, I was fully prepared to walk away from God, despite all of my childhood experiences with angels, Jesus, as well as the dream that my grandmother had concerning me at the moment of my birth. She reminded me, with a firm grip on my hand and a fixed gaze, moments before she passed. This I will elaborate on on my upcoming book on my personal journey. If this didn't work, I was decided that I would live like everyone else, making money, and enjoying vices.

When I returned to Trinidad and Tobago in January 2015, I was undoubtedly smack dab in the center of an identity crises. Not knowing what was truth from fiction, I felt as though I was in the middle of the Universe, with no sign of light in sight, and nothing to give my mind orientation.  It was thoroughly unsettling. 

I was in no state to exercise my professions. So, for the purpose of this pursuit not only of Truth, but for my own identity and sanity, I literally pressed the pause button on my professions. I needed answers and I needed answers immediately.  I made the decision alternatively, to dedicate myself full time to the veracity of this Gospel.  I considered that if my belief was wrong, then my identity was false, and I would therefore have been living a lie.  And I, or at least who I had perceived myself to be, was a lie.  

I also sincerely considered that it would be a dreadfully sorrowful waste if I died and realized that I was at Hell's Gates, -again my Pentecostal knowledge back then-, and not know why.  If my destination was hell, then I would have preferred to get there on my own 'merit' and not be swindled there by indoctrination.  MADNESS!  Not to mention that if after fifteen years of Pentecostal Christianity I was yielding no significant fruit, then according to the well known saying, "to do the same thing over and over again, expecting different results, is INSANITY!



I am thankful to God that in the first quarter of 2015, I came across Curry Blake's “Divine Healing Technician Training”, also known as the "DHT" and the “New Man Series”.  These two seminars were to say the least, paradigm shifting, tradition challenging, and was the first course of training/ information that met my "scientific criteria". They yielded RESULTS.  FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I SAW RESULTS.  I remember going over those seminars at least twice to three times each, and then I put them to the test.  In March of 2015, I experienced healing for myself, as well as for someone else, for the very first time. It was the very first time in my entire life that I felt like I could breathe. It was as though I took my first real inhalation. Finally, a sign that this "God-business" was real, and that there was a glimmer of hope for my identity, that was tied to the awareness of God, in its own way. 

That set me on my life changing course of challenging everything that I thought I knew, abandoning my Pentecostal education and grooming, and studying the Bible as unbiasedly as I could.  The following 21 months, I would dedicate myself to visiting the tenets of everything that I knew doctrinally regarding God and His relationship with man, how spirituality worked, coupled with a rigorous experimental process to prove its veracity.  To my frustration, nothing worked apart from the healings, from time to time.  In December 2016, it became remarkably evident that the doctrines that I was familiar with were all an empirical failure, with approximately five hundred experiments to prove it.

In January, 2017, dawned a new era in the age of my empirical investigation.  I turned to the culture, and to the people from which the Scriptures came.  The Jews.  Westernized Christianity was clearly a supernaturally dead reality, so I turned towards Jewish Rabbis online. This was the turning point. A turning point that led me down a path that took me passed the present day rabbinical perspectives of the Scriptures, to the functional perspectives of the Ancient Israelites.  The details of this journey, I hope to recount in the near future, but sufficing it is to say that the perspectives of the Ancient Israelites, yielded significantly more results that met the empirical criteria. And, I mean, SIGNIFICANTLY. More on this soon.

Since then to now, the Popular Church Doctrines have steadily become an increasingly distant thought and the realities of God have become more easily accessible.

Throughout this period of time dedicated to this research, personally, I suffered many hardships. The plan that I had to sustain me throughout my pursuit, (which I thought would have been 6 months), financially, fell through. I have faced reproached by family, slandered, faced condescension, faced active attempts to humiliate me, was betrayed by family, faced alienation from circles of friends, and more. The experience that I was having especially by those who were around me almost broke me (in the context of my pursuit), at least 3 times. I wanted to leave it all and go back to to my profession.  Many would not believe me when I say that what kept me from literally giving up, was God speaking to me through my mother, as well as dreams from multiple sources who had no idea of what I was doing, as well as my own dreams that told me, 'STAY YOUR COURSE'. (Details coming in my book)

The Holy Spirit is a strategic Teacher.  He NEVER gives you all the information at once.  If he did, you would not accept it through the paradigm of your narrow-minded opinions.  In hindsight, I realized that he taught me in layers, literally.  I also realized in hindsight that I cannot in any way neglect the fact that He (Holy Spirit) was, in fact, throughout my Pentecostal upbringing questioning me on many things, as well as presenting me with information that my indoctrinated mind ignored and branded as heresy.  He was always there.  Just unfortunately ignored.  

Thanks be to Jesus for this MARVELOUS AND SPLENDIFEROUS GIFT of the HOLY SPIRIT OF FATHER YAHWEH/ THE SPIRIT OF JESUS CHRIST.

It is now a total of over 6 years since January 2015, dedicated to full time, regimented research, analysis, theoretic and investigative research, and practical experimentation, (especially comprehending the Bible from its culturally Jewish context). I can confidently say that JESUS IS INDEED LORD, THE GOSPEL IS REAL (although it has not really been preached/ taught) and the Scriptures are completely reliable.  THE POWER OF GOD IS GIVEN TO YOU FREELY TO USE AT WILL.

We (those that I have studied and experimented with and I) have seen many supernatural things:  healing (of various types of conditions, pain etc), broken bones mended, limbs grown, effects on the weather, demons cast out, the miraculous and the list goes on.  Not to mention the individual activation of the much disputed nine 'gifts' of the Holy Spirit.  Prophecy, Word of Wisdom, Word of Knowledge, Discernment of spirits, Tongues, Interpretation of Tongues, Faith, Working of Miracles and of course Healing.

ALL accessible to ALL Saints.

The Gospel is really SIMPLE.  This accumulative five years and counting has honestly not been spent learning the Gospel but mainly unlearning the paradigmatic religious indoctrination, to be able to settle into the simplicity of the Gospel and the Truth concerning the NEW MAN and the New Covenant.